News

Nigerian cops have arrested a goat on suspicion of attempted armed robbery.

Police firmly believe that the goat was initially the lead robber, and he used black magic to transform himself into the goat.

Police spokesperson Tunde Mohammed said: "The group of vigilante men came to report that while they were on patrol they saw some hoodlums attempting to rob a car.

"They pursued them. However one of them escaped while the other turned into a goat."

YAHOO NEWS


 

A football team mourning the death of one of its greatest players discovered an important error in the tributes by the club and local press to the 86-year-old man — he's still alive.

Tommy Farrer had the rare distinction of reading his own obituary as a former "legend" with northern amateur side Bishop Auckland FC.

The mistake came to light when an official of the club, which held a solemn minute of silence before a match last week, called Farrer's wife to offer condolences.

A surprised Gladys Farrer said her husband had indeed departed — but only for a few minutes to buy a newspaper and would be back soon if the official wanted to talk to him.

Farrer, a former England amateur who played in three Wembley finals, said in Friday editions of the Northern Echo: "We are not upset, but we did think it was a bit of a joke at first."

Farrer said he wants to play down the mistake, saying it was time to "let it die."

 

A Beverly Hills, plastic surgeon who claimed he drove his car on human fat has come under the scrutiny of the California Department of Public Health and the state Board of Registration in Medicine.

Dr. Alan Bittner claimed that he was fueling a SUV with excess human fat he extracted from his patients.

He bragged about his use of alternative fuel from thighs and posteriors on his website.

Dr. Bittner has subsequently shut down his Rodeo Drive office, took down the bio fuel posts on his site and left the country.

A gallon of fat can be turned into roughly one gallon of biodiesel, but don’t bank on a “lipo-diesel” appearing at a fuel pump near you any time soon.


 

Sacre bleu – it’s not only their baguettes that are the longest! French men have the lengthiest and thickest penises in the EU, according to a new study reports bild.com.

The research by the 'Institut fuer Kondom-Beratung' measured penises in their erect state belonging to 10,477 brave volunteers from all 25 countries in the EU.

It found that on average, a French manhood was 15.48 (6.1 inches) centimetres long with a girth of 13.63 centimetres (5.4 inches).

And their traditional British rivals across the English Channel will be spluttering into their tea to discover that their pride and joy comes in 23rd place at 13.32cm (5.2 inches) long and 11.32cm (4.5 inches) around - only ahead of Ireland and Greece!