News

Dear Editor,
There we were, at home, the usual deluge of junk mail lands on the porch carpet.

Just preparing to send them to each other i.e. junk mail from Bloggs and Co go in the envelope provided from Smith and Co, when it is spied that not all of it was junk (surely not, but it turned out to be)

Something that resemble a cheap imitation of magazines that go by the way of "Hello", "O.K. designed to tempt the Lady reader.

This particular one is called Kent View, leading one to suppose it was a magazine for all things er "Kentish".

So I passed it to the Mem Sah'b thinking it was one of those title tattle sort of Magazine. Herself gave it a swift once over saying it wasn't one of those magazine, that satisfy the female need for glossy accounts of whoever have sold the photo rights to their Weddings, Divorces and Funerals etc.

So I put on the cheap (or value for money as I call them) reading glasses and takes a look

Front page the ever lovely La Lumley with some woman in glasses who isn't named only known as "Lynne" same Lynne, apparently hugging an old Lady and photo of Floella Benjamin.

Turn over to page 2 and discover more about this Lynne person. Transpires she has the surname of Beaumont and note it is a page full of photos of females. Some recalling schooldays with said Lynne Beaumont and a brief comment from the "editor"

Page 3, photos of La Lumley (well done her and with local ish chap Peter Caroll with the Gurkhas) with this Lynne Beaumont which the text along with the photos conveys that Lynne is a Lib Dem candidate for Folkestone, I assume for the Parliamentary Elections, but not too sure.

Pages 4 and 5 large photo of said Beaumont and la Lumley, the old Lady a few more Beaumont photos and some text yet again.

Pages 6 and 7 of this Beaumont person, posing with Labradors. Photo of old man Cable the Lib Dem MP as was (shocked to learn that he has spent more time away from Parliament in recent times than in it! No I did not learn that from this Kent View [Number 2 Spring 2010, never saw Issue 1] )

At last the final Page 8 with her again (getting a little fed up with seeing her by now) and a prize Sudoku competition.

However tucked away neatly at the bottom of this page, the magic words of: On behalf of Shepway Lib Dems

Damn and Blast, we had been duped into "reading" the whole wretched thing.

Why can't these Lib Dems be up front and put Shepway Lib Dems on the front Page of their glossy and no doubt expensive rag. What are they trying to do or what are they ashamed of ?

Smacks a little of the last general election when Peter Carroll employed a few iffy tricks to persuade, shall we say,  voters to vote for him.

Two Votes lost. Yes. We were going to vote Lib Dem and had expected Carroll to stand and go for "third time lucky" in this constituency, but he has disappeared. We were going to vote for him purely on the basis of the sterling work he has done on behalf of the Gurkhas, our Gurkhas,

Alas, it seems the Lib Dems here, are still playing a strange game of leaving their true colours (er Yellow by name... no don't go there) and their true identities hidden until the last moment.

So no votes from us, we are now afloat on the political seas having cast ourselves adrift, we may try and more up at the quay of the Monster Raving Loony Party, at least we know where we are with them and their policies, as loony as they are we know where they stand er or is it sit.

Mind you, look at the other Loonies, who have quit the Ship of State counting their money and all the "wanna be" new recruits ready and willing to take their place.

Will close now, as Matron has just said time for Bedtime Cocoa and lights out in 30 minutes.

Yours etc.

Finkle
(Resident of the British East Hawkinge Twilight Home for the Terminally Bewildered).

© Hawkinge Gazette and Channel Coast News 201000