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LADIES, WHY DO MEN MAKE IT SO COMPLICATED?

For all you "soccer" widows out there - at last a rule we can all relate to. It's quite simple really - don't know why guys have to make it seem so complicated.

The "Offside Rule" explained for  women...

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till.

Behind the shop assistant is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you really must have.

The female shopper in front of  you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire.

Both of you have forgotten  your purses.

It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no  money to pay for the shoes.

The shop assistant remains  at the till waiting.

Your friend is trying o­n  another pair of shoes behind you,  near the back of the shop, and sees your dilemma. She prepares to  throw her purse to you.

If she does so, you can catch  the purse, then walk around the other shopper and buy the  shoes.

At a pinch she could throw  the purse ahead of the other  shopper and - whilst it is in  flight - you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the  shoes.

Always remembering that  until the purse has actually been thrown it would be plain wrong for you to be in front of the other Shopper and you would be  OFFSIDE!

There you go...

Sean