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LAZARUS' SECOND LAMENT - DECADENCE

Dear Ed
 
I would like to relate to you how decadence is creeping throughout our lives o­n a daily basis; it is even invading the very fabric of our civilisation since it has already insinuated itself into the heart of government. 

Ministers, Secretaries of State have it; the Prime Minister, First Lord of the Treasury; all are afflicted; there is little hope.

Everywhere now we hear it, we read of it in magazines and periodicals, from broadsheets to tabloids and even such lofty publications as “Tatler� and “New Statesman� have fallen to the invidious procession of this affliction.

Not o­nly does it cause inflation, but it shortens the life of almost everything you can think of since it just takes away the years.

What is it that is the source of such horrendous effects?

Why, it is the use of the noun decade; nearly all commentators now use it; years have fallen by the wayside, lamenting past glories and even recently heard o­n Radio Four’s “Todayâ€? was the phrase, “Half a decadeâ€?.    Aarrrrggghhhhh!!!!!  

Please help.  What is wrong with saying, “Five yearsâ€??  Do we need to sink into such excesses of verbiage that we cannot avoid the use of “decadeâ€??  What do the “Plain English Society think of all this?   They have their eye o­n the case but we could now wish for some action o­n the matter before things go too far.

Whatever next?  Shall we allow this insidious infection to progress to acute stages where we will be subjected to whole or parts of “pentacadesâ€?, perhaps “hexacades (or better, half a hexacade meaning three years)â€? or, heaven forbid, “septacades (half a septacade just does not bear consideration)â€?. 

No!  We must emphatically stop the march of this horrendous away from plain English and try and put a stop to those pundits and people who want desperately to give the impression that they are clever!

I mean, years are the senior noun here; they have been around about ten times longer than decades and have never let me, or anyone I know, down in all that time.

I am thinking of setting up a charity to support years and reduce inflation and stop the spread of this decadence.  If you support this view please send a small donation to the anti decadence society.

Regards to o­ne and all,

Lazarus