News

A man goes into a flag shop and asks for a green Union Jack.
The shop assistant is forced to explain that you only get Union Jack flags in red white and blue.
The man considers this, then says, "I'll have a blue one then." 


Doctors at the local hospital go on strike.
Hospital officials say as soon as they can get a pharmacist over there to read the picket signs, they will respond to the doctors' demands.



The dentist was striving to extract a tooth, but every time he got ready to proceed, the patient clamped his jaws. At last, he took his assistant aside and told her at the very moment he poised the forceps, to give the patient's balls a vicious pinch.
The pinch was administered, the nervous patient's mouth flew open, and the tooth was easily removed.
"Didn't hurt, did it?" asked the dentist.
"Not too much," replied the patient, "but who would have thought the root went that deep?!"



If GH can be pronounced as P as in Hiccough
If OUGH can be pronounced as O as in Dough
If PHTH can be pronounced as T as in Phthisis
If EIGH can be pronounced as A as in Neighbour
If TTE can be pronounced as T as in Gazette
And if EAU can be pronounced as O as in Plateau
Then an alternative way to spell POTATO could be:
"GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU"



Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. 
But then I think, what if I was an ant and she fell on me. 
Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.



To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography and the dancers hit each other.